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The Chicken’s Float Trip Tips

Cheap Beer and Float Trips. That’s What The Chicken Does!

Summer’s coming, and it’ll be as hot as an egg in a pan. Wait. Maybe not that hot. Don’t eat eggs.

But seriously, do you know any better way to stay cool than to grab some cheap beer, put on your swim suits and head to a river for a float trip? Just you, your peeps, a nice cold beverage, and sweet sweet water. If you can sparrow a few minutes, read my tips on how to have a great trip. After all, you don’t want to wing it! (Sparrow, wing it, get it? I’m no bird brain!)

  1. Make a weekend of it. Sure you could “day-trip it,” but if you bring a tent, you can spend more time on the river. And that means more time being cool, and more time to drink cheap beer. I promise… I won’t wake you up at sunrise. No cock-a-doodle-doo to you!
  2. Keep it simple or keep it fancy. You can just jump in the river, or go with a resort that handles everything for you. Remember, though… you have to have some sort of a plan to make it back to where you started. You and I are the same — we can’t fly back! Luckily, our rivers are covered with resorts that will rent you a tube or raft, let you play all day, then shuttle you back at the end of the day — back to your cheap beer, of course!
  3. Cheap beer is great for when you’re done with your day’s float trip, but it won’t work on the river. I’ve got great boxed wine. It’s easy to take, tastes great, and will keep you cool — and keep the river clean. Now that’s a great clucking idea!
  4. Whatever you’re drinking, on a hot day, you’re going to want it to be cold, and that means having a good cooler, filled with lots of ice. And take care of that cooler. You wouldn’t want it to fall victim to fowl play.
  5. Be nice to other people on the river. You’re all there to have a good time, so no flipping the bird!
  6. Don’t forget your sunglasses and sun block. Unless you’re covered with feathers. They’re a little warm, but they’re great at protecting you from sunburn. Then again, you’d look funny with feathers.

River float trips are cheap-cheap fun-fun, even though they usually mean that you have to leave the cheap beer on dry land. No worries, though, you can still come in to Dirt Cheap for all of your important float trip supplies. We even have water guns for on the water fun! We’ll keep you cool, wet, and happy. The swimsuit’s on you though. Please remember your swimsuit. Whatever you do.

Have fun! But be careful out there.

PS: Don’t forget to download a Cluck Buck to put more cheap-cheap in your fun-fun. Happy floating!

Your favorite party fowl,

The Dirt Cheap Chicken


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