Local Business’ Spokesperson Offers Albert 300 Million!
Dirt Cheap takes the lead to keep El Hombre in St. Louis for Life.
April 1, 2011 – St. Louis, MO – Dirt Cheap, a St. Louis Area retailer of cigarettes, beer, liquor and wine, known for its low prices and off-the-wall spokesperson, affectionately known as the Dirt Cheap Chicken, has made a play to ensure that Albert Pujols remains in a Redbirds uniform for the remainder of his career.
The Dirt Cheap Chicken has offered up a sum of 300 Million of his (or her) own internal monetary denomination called “Cluck Bucks” to keep St. Louis’ greatest attraction in the city for so long as he’s able to play the game.
Apparently the Dirt Cheap Chicken has decided to get involved after the two sides failed to reach an agreement prior to the 2011 season. Sources close to the deal say that there’s a lot of thought that went into the Dirt Cheap Chicken’s decision to step forward. “The Chicken has lost a lot of sleep the last few months wondering what would happen if the Redbirds couldn’t reach a deal, and Albert was to fly the coop. That’s just a risk the Dirt Cheap Chicken isn’t willing to take,” says one source. Another source says that the Dirt Cheap Chicken, “has put all of his (or her) eggs into this one basket. This is a cry from a true Redbirds fan.”
While this offer, in the words of the Dirt Cheap Chicken isn’t “Cheap, Cheap” it is in fact all about keeping with the great Redbirds tradition of great players and having “Fun, Fun!”
Evidence is also emerging that the Dirt Cheap Chicken has been making a local push to keep Pujols for numerous years. Rumors that the Dirt Cheap Chicken was behind the Highway 40/64 reconstruction to make it easier for fans to go see Pujols play have gone unconfirmed, but this latest move verifies that the Dirt Cheap Chicken is truly a die-hard fan.
Further research into the “Cluck Buck” has shown that one (1) Cluck Buck is good for $1 Dollar off of any purchase of $20 or more. Company officials at Dirt Cheap say that the Chicken’s offer of 300,000,000 Cluck Bucks would be good for Albert Pujols to use on any purchase of $6,000,000,000 or more. Additionally, officials say that even though Albert Pujols doesn’t consume alcohol or smoke there are still plenty of items he may be interested in at Dirt Cheap. “We sell all sorts of party goods! We have chips, soda, you name it! Right down to shirts, hats and the coveted Dirt Cheap Bikini!”
The Dirt Cheap Chicken is enlisting the support of other fans that believe Albert belongs here in St. Louis. The Chicken is asking people to share Tweets and Facebook messages to direct supporters of this cause to the Dirt Cheap Chicken’s Facebook page. The Chicken has vowed to give a little something back to those that help spread the word.
For the following number of additional fans the Chicken gains on Facebook in support of his (or her) Cluck Buck offer, the Chicken promises the following:
1,000 New Fans – One lucky person will get to star in a Dirt Cheap TV commercial along with the Dirt Cheap Chicken
3,000 New Fans – In addition to the above, another lucky person will win a $250 gift card to Dirt Cheap
5,000 New Fans – In addition to all above, one lucky person will win a wheelbarrow FULL of beer liquor and wine
10,000 New Fans – In addition to the above, one EXTREMELY lucky person will win a “Dirt Cheap Backyard BBQ.” Fully catered for up to 25 guests (no chicken on the menu). Beer, liquor and wine provided. FREE rides home from Scooter Guy for all guests, and a band to wrap it all up!
For additional information about the Dirt Cheap Chicken’s offer, and to sign up as a supporter of this initiative, visit http://on.fb.me/ggBd96
Or visit www.dirtcheapfunfun.com and register to receive your OWN personal Cluck Buck to be used on a future visit to Dirt Cheap!
Posted on April 1st, 2011